...Is impressive. I watched The Rock with all it's complex plot twists and sophisticated explosions while talking to a few people on Facebook chat. This is a high level of advanced multitasking that I possess and employ often in my daily life.
It is useful when one wants to mix business with pleasure.
P.S.
Susan is a great friend.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Top 10 Films - 2009
It's that time again! I'm going to talk about movies. Okay, so it's always that time. But this time I'm sticking to 2009, here my friends are my Top 10 favourite films of last year:
10. Sherlock Holmes
Who doesn't want to watch Robert Downey Jr. play Tony Stark with a British accent?!
Regardless of the rock 'em sock 'em style of Guy Richie, this version of Sherlock Holmes is refreshingly faithful to the original stories; Holmes is an arrogant prick and a drug addict & Watson is finally not presented as an old fat guy (it's like Smee from Peter Pan, all the movie adaptations make him this lovable fat guy when he's a creepy bastard in the original story). This is defiantly Richie's best since Snatch, and highly entertaining with good chemistry between Downey & Jude Law.
9. Fantastic Mr. Fox
A very quirky and offbeat comedy. Wes Anderson redeems himself after The Darjeeling Limited, which I found to be an unintentional parody of himself. One thing that this movie gets right is the attention to the little things; there are so many small details in every scene and sometimes they are totally irrelevant but they are great, adding a deeper texture to the world the movie has created. Plus, it's fun to watch good stop-motion animation.
8. A Serious Man
I love me some Coen Bros. They make movies in so many genres/styles but you can always tell it's them. That said they have few types of comedies such as the Burn After Reading, quirky-fun style and the Fargo, dark-quirky style. A Serious Man falls under the latter. This is a dark dramedy, and it's great.
7. Up
I watched this one in 3D, and it was pretty cool. You know, because it was made to actually BE a 3D movie, unlike Alice in Wonderland or Clash of the Titans. The beginning of this movie is so sad for a happy-go-lucky Pixar flick. I think the Oscar nomination was for that opening montage alone, it was very powerful. The rest of the movie is also really good, I'm glad to say. There's some funny stuff, some touching stuff, a talking dog, what more do you want? Balloons? Well there's lots of those.
6. Star Trek
Star Trek is usually more about exploring than blowing stuff up, but this movie is a blast (Pun, SO intended)! A reboot that's clever about getting a new audience while not pissing off the hardcores, Star Trek is the best action movie of 09.
5. Ponyo
The Little Mermaid told Miyazaki style. Hayao Miyazaki is amazing and creative as all Hell, Ponyo is no different. It's the type of movie that just makes you feel good watching it, with it's wonderful animation & rich characters. I don't like to throw around words like enchanting because I find them cliché, but it applies so I'll have to live with it.
4. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Nick Cage is one of those actors you either love or hate. If you're like me, you're in the love-camp and he's absolutely phenomenal in this movie. This is an over-the-top (in every respect) dirty cop thrill-ride. Incredibly dark humor and an insane performance from Nick Cage makes me a happy camper.
3. Inglorious Bastards
This is the one on the list that I'm sure most people would have seen already. I don't need to go too deep into it here. QT has done it again! Brad Pitt is awesome, and we can finally say we have a WWII epic where it's okay to laugh and enjoy yourself. Only thing I have an issue with is Eli Roth as the Bear Jew – I wish that Adam Sandler had played him as QT originally intended (instead he made Funny People). I'm not a Sandler fan, but I can totally see him as that character and doing an awesome job, where I found Eli Roth's attempt at it distracting.
2. (500) Days of Summer
From the very start this movie tells you what's up, and you still don't listen. That's okay though, because regardless you're in for a really fun time. Feeling very real while still being incredibly off the wall, (500) Days of Summer is one of the most creative Rom-Coms I've seen a in a while. There are some very unique techniques used to display a character's wishes that I don't want to spoil for you here. Trust me and see this movie.
1. Where The Wild Things Are
A children's movie that's really for adults.
Where The Wild Things Are perfectly personifies of all the frustration, conflictions and confusions that come with childhood. It's not for everyone, and you shouldn't expect a happy-fun time because for a "kid’s movie" it’s scary and sometimes heartbreaking. That said, it's also breathtakingly beautiful in both its aesthetics and ability to be so simple yet so deep at the same time. Directed and written by Spike Jonze (Adaptation, Being John Malkovich), this movie takes a children's picture-book with few words and fleshes it out into a rich story full of fully realized & unique characters you can relate to, even if they are monsters. There's funny banter, really creative ideas, and pure, genuine emotion flowing throughout the entire film. I've already watched it three times and loved it, I've no doubt it's my favourite film of the year.
Bonus - soundtrack was done by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs lead singer Karen O, and it's Awesome-O (pun, also intended).
------------
I hope you enjoyed the list, and if you haven't seen those movies it's pretty obvious that I think you should get around to it when you can.
2009 did pretty alright and 2010 has already had a standout with My Name is Khan. I'm certain that Inception & Scott Pilgrim vs. the World will also rock; I hope to be discussing those next year come Top 10 time. Now go watch some movies!
10. Sherlock Holmes
Who doesn't want to watch Robert Downey Jr. play Tony Stark with a British accent?!
Regardless of the rock 'em sock 'em style of Guy Richie, this version of Sherlock Holmes is refreshingly faithful to the original stories; Holmes is an arrogant prick and a drug addict & Watson is finally not presented as an old fat guy (it's like Smee from Peter Pan, all the movie adaptations make him this lovable fat guy when he's a creepy bastard in the original story). This is defiantly Richie's best since Snatch, and highly entertaining with good chemistry between Downey & Jude Law.
9. Fantastic Mr. Fox
A very quirky and offbeat comedy. Wes Anderson redeems himself after The Darjeeling Limited, which I found to be an unintentional parody of himself. One thing that this movie gets right is the attention to the little things; there are so many small details in every scene and sometimes they are totally irrelevant but they are great, adding a deeper texture to the world the movie has created. Plus, it's fun to watch good stop-motion animation.
8. A Serious Man
I love me some Coen Bros. They make movies in so many genres/styles but you can always tell it's them. That said they have few types of comedies such as the Burn After Reading, quirky-fun style and the Fargo, dark-quirky style. A Serious Man falls under the latter. This is a dark dramedy, and it's great.
7. Up
I watched this one in 3D, and it was pretty cool. You know, because it was made to actually BE a 3D movie, unlike Alice in Wonderland or Clash of the Titans. The beginning of this movie is so sad for a happy-go-lucky Pixar flick. I think the Oscar nomination was for that opening montage alone, it was very powerful. The rest of the movie is also really good, I'm glad to say. There's some funny stuff, some touching stuff, a talking dog, what more do you want? Balloons? Well there's lots of those.
6. Star Trek
Star Trek is usually more about exploring than blowing stuff up, but this movie is a blast (Pun, SO intended)! A reboot that's clever about getting a new audience while not pissing off the hardcores, Star Trek is the best action movie of 09.
5. Ponyo
The Little Mermaid told Miyazaki style. Hayao Miyazaki is amazing and creative as all Hell, Ponyo is no different. It's the type of movie that just makes you feel good watching it, with it's wonderful animation & rich characters. I don't like to throw around words like enchanting because I find them cliché, but it applies so I'll have to live with it.
4. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Nick Cage is one of those actors you either love or hate. If you're like me, you're in the love-camp and he's absolutely phenomenal in this movie. This is an over-the-top (in every respect) dirty cop thrill-ride. Incredibly dark humor and an insane performance from Nick Cage makes me a happy camper.
3. Inglorious Bastards
This is the one on the list that I'm sure most people would have seen already. I don't need to go too deep into it here. QT has done it again! Brad Pitt is awesome, and we can finally say we have a WWII epic where it's okay to laugh and enjoy yourself. Only thing I have an issue with is Eli Roth as the Bear Jew – I wish that Adam Sandler had played him as QT originally intended (instead he made Funny People). I'm not a Sandler fan, but I can totally see him as that character and doing an awesome job, where I found Eli Roth's attempt at it distracting.
2. (500) Days of Summer
From the very start this movie tells you what's up, and you still don't listen. That's okay though, because regardless you're in for a really fun time. Feeling very real while still being incredibly off the wall, (500) Days of Summer is one of the most creative Rom-Coms I've seen a in a while. There are some very unique techniques used to display a character's wishes that I don't want to spoil for you here. Trust me and see this movie.
1. Where The Wild Things Are
A children's movie that's really for adults.
Where The Wild Things Are perfectly personifies of all the frustration, conflictions and confusions that come with childhood. It's not for everyone, and you shouldn't expect a happy-fun time because for a "kid’s movie" it’s scary and sometimes heartbreaking. That said, it's also breathtakingly beautiful in both its aesthetics and ability to be so simple yet so deep at the same time. Directed and written by Spike Jonze (Adaptation, Being John Malkovich), this movie takes a children's picture-book with few words and fleshes it out into a rich story full of fully realized & unique characters you can relate to, even if they are monsters. There's funny banter, really creative ideas, and pure, genuine emotion flowing throughout the entire film. I've already watched it three times and loved it, I've no doubt it's my favourite film of the year.
Bonus - soundtrack was done by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs lead singer Karen O, and it's Awesome-O (pun, also intended).
------------
I hope you enjoyed the list, and if you haven't seen those movies it's pretty obvious that I think you should get around to it when you can.
2009 did pretty alright and 2010 has already had a standout with My Name is Khan. I'm certain that Inception & Scott Pilgrim vs. the World will also rock; I hope to be discussing those next year come Top 10 time. Now go watch some movies!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Is your free time to free minds or for falling apart?
I felt so much more creative than usual the other day. As a creative person (so I claim) I've often wondered just what gets my mind to swirl just the right way to do what I love to do; is it what I eat & drink? Is it who I hang around with? Is it all from my dreams? I find that some of my best ideas arrive after I wake up, though I can recall those dreams and they had nothing to do with disinfecting wipes. I might never know the exact answer but as the expression goes, "if it ain't broke don't fix it."
For a few weeks things had been dull, dreary and messy. Well, my room had been very messy. Still is. But I digress, random ideas weren't popping in & working. My head is full of random all the time and it's suited me very well. What's that? A monkey with a screwdriver? Oh, no, that's just my friend Jo-Jo-Jr. Wait..there is no Jo-Jo-Jr. Okay, I think I have a beautiful mind.
See my point?
The beauty of good creativity is making something work. You can have all the random in the world but it gets you nowhere without proper application. Having the idea is only the 1st step, creativity is like many things in life where you need to try hard and go that extra mile if you want great things to occur. Personally, I am determined in my life to make as much work as possible. I kill myself to get my work done, I try to go that extra mile for my friends (even the far away ones), I wear gloves on top of gloves to use my iPod (okay, old news). What I don't do is clean my room. But I will soon. I'll snap and clean it 'till I drop. Why am I talking about that again?
I woke up a few days ago and the world was right again, creatively. I could look at anything and see so many ways to use it and abuse it. Sell it, buy it, pluck it, pull it, do what you will people. I know I have. I wrote down my ideas on receipt paper at work, and stuffed them in my pocket. Some of those ideas made it to the next level, some, well.. I couldn't read my own writing.
In time the creative work of myself & friends in advertising will inspire a range of actions and emotions across the globe. Our creativity will move them, motivate them, captivate them, they will feel different than that had previously, perhaps they will clean their desks off?
To get the ball rolling on this, be creative off the clock.
No one likes doing their job for free, but using your imagination isn't a job. It's just getting paid to have fun...While you are up all night. But if you're like me, you'd be up all night anyway writing a blog or something. I donno, Facebook? You know how you waste your time. I'm gonna go clean my room.
Title inspired by this week's song that's keepin' me going:
-Ize of the world (The Strokes)
For a few weeks things had been dull, dreary and messy. Well, my room had been very messy. Still is. But I digress, random ideas weren't popping in & working. My head is full of random all the time and it's suited me very well. What's that? A monkey with a screwdriver? Oh, no, that's just my friend Jo-Jo-Jr. Wait..there is no Jo-Jo-Jr. Okay, I think I have a beautiful mind.
See my point?
The beauty of good creativity is making something work. You can have all the random in the world but it gets you nowhere without proper application. Having the idea is only the 1st step, creativity is like many things in life where you need to try hard and go that extra mile if you want great things to occur. Personally, I am determined in my life to make as much work as possible. I kill myself to get my work done, I try to go that extra mile for my friends (even the far away ones), I wear gloves on top of gloves to use my iPod (okay, old news). What I don't do is clean my room. But I will soon. I'll snap and clean it 'till I drop. Why am I talking about that again?
I woke up a few days ago and the world was right again, creatively. I could look at anything and see so many ways to use it and abuse it. Sell it, buy it, pluck it, pull it, do what you will people. I know I have. I wrote down my ideas on receipt paper at work, and stuffed them in my pocket. Some of those ideas made it to the next level, some, well.. I couldn't read my own writing.
In time the creative work of myself & friends in advertising will inspire a range of actions and emotions across the globe. Our creativity will move them, motivate them, captivate them, they will feel different than that had previously, perhaps they will clean their desks off?
To get the ball rolling on this, be creative off the clock.
No one likes doing their job for free, but using your imagination isn't a job. It's just getting paid to have fun...While you are up all night. But if you're like me, you'd be up all night anyway writing a blog or something. I donno, Facebook? You know how you waste your time. I'm gonna go clean my room.
Title inspired by this week's song that's keepin' me going:
-Ize of the world (The Strokes)
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Knocked Over Pylons - The Catalog: track 2
I'm too lazy today, here's more song lyrics from my high school days. Enjoy.
-------------------------------------
Knocked over Pylons
-Dairy Star-Dust
He's a self-help specialist,
She's a dental hygienist,
They got nothing in common but they've got it all!
Terry's a taxman,
Terra's on welfare,
They got something in common but it's not the same!
Everyone's high on the Milky Way fume,
Messing about and trying to get through,
So high on the Milky Way fume,
Yet no one stops to breathe it in.
When I read the last page of my favorite book,
I came to the end of some great times,
Said farewell to some good friends,
And read the book all over again.
Jerry's a lie and a cheat,
Jessie's getting off on getting beat,
They'll only cope with eachother between the sheets.
Everyone's high on the Milky Way fume,
Mucking about and trying to get through,
So high on the Milky Way fume,
Yet no one stops to take it in.
Saw Bogart give her away,
Watched the globe drop away from Kane,
Witnessed the Bad Guy take his fall,
And my split-personality the cause of it all.
I'm an ass with a cause,
You're a pusher who works hard for it all,
We understand our faults and deal,
We breathe the fume and know how we feel.
-------------------------------------
Knocked over Pylons
-Dairy Star-Dust
He's a self-help specialist,
She's a dental hygienist,
They got nothing in common but they've got it all!
Terry's a taxman,
Terra's on welfare,
They got something in common but it's not the same!
Everyone's high on the Milky Way fume,
Messing about and trying to get through,
So high on the Milky Way fume,
Yet no one stops to breathe it in.
When I read the last page of my favorite book,
I came to the end of some great times,
Said farewell to some good friends,
And read the book all over again.
Jerry's a lie and a cheat,
Jessie's getting off on getting beat,
They'll only cope with eachother between the sheets.
Everyone's high on the Milky Way fume,
Mucking about and trying to get through,
So high on the Milky Way fume,
Yet no one stops to take it in.
Saw Bogart give her away,
Watched the globe drop away from Kane,
Witnessed the Bad Guy take his fall,
And my split-personality the cause of it all.
I'm an ass with a cause,
You're a pusher who works hard for it all,
We understand our faults and deal,
We breathe the fume and know how we feel.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Gimme, gimme shelter or I'm gonna fade away
Greetings from my cold, pale fingers pounding on black keys.
I've said before that school is back for Summer, what I should have said was that school is back, and it's frakin' cold out! Really Canada, sometimes I wonder about you. What do you on a Friday night while I'm sitting by the phone, waiting for a warm day to call and tell me it loves me.
Not too warm though, I burn.
Anyway.
Today was the 1st day back at school. It felt good to be in an establishment where I'll be pounded into the ground with work; I've been going out of my mind with all the freedom I had in the last month.
To make up for lost friends, I had a bunch of run-ins to start me off. On the bus ride there (from across the bus) I spotted a guy I knew from back in kindergarten, I had nothing to say to him, vice versa, I'm sure. We exchanged the customary head nods complete with smile and that was that 'till he got off the bus.
Once we arrived at Seneca I bumped into my friend who I haven't seen in a while. I was about to be late so I didn't have time for a Stop-&-Chat. Lucky for me he was cool enough to walk in the opposite direction of where he was headed to talk to me until I made it to my building.
Once I got into the building my super espionage skills must have kicked in without my noticing because I lot of people didn't notice me when I was sitting or standing near them.
It wore off when I was walking down the hall and bumped into my friend's Ex's brother. I was able to avoid the Stop-&-Chat once again. Score.
Really, does anyone like a Stop-&-Chat? Clearly I'm speaking of the type with people you don't have on your list of peeps or friendly acquaintances.
The idea of wasting time is freaky to me, time is money, and we all need more money. What could you be doing with your life that you don't have enough money to do? Should that read "don't have enough time to do" yeah, but it's the point I guess. Then again, I'm not sure what the point it. Oh yeah. I don't care for Stop-&-Chats, unless they are with Terri Hatcher circa 1993.
So if you ever bump into me and I have my iPod going, or am walking fast someplace, you know to stop me now if you want to torture me. I guess though, if you're bothering to read this you're someone I would like to talk to. So the joke is on YOU!
Title inspired by this week's song that's keepin' me going:
-Gimme Shelter (The Rolling Stones)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhBpUJcpiCg
I've said before that school is back for Summer, what I should have said was that school is back, and it's frakin' cold out! Really Canada, sometimes I wonder about you. What do you on a Friday night while I'm sitting by the phone, waiting for a warm day to call and tell me it loves me.
Not too warm though, I burn.
Anyway.
Today was the 1st day back at school. It felt good to be in an establishment where I'll be pounded into the ground with work; I've been going out of my mind with all the freedom I had in the last month.
To make up for lost friends, I had a bunch of run-ins to start me off. On the bus ride there (from across the bus) I spotted a guy I knew from back in kindergarten, I had nothing to say to him, vice versa, I'm sure. We exchanged the customary head nods complete with smile and that was that 'till he got off the bus.
Once we arrived at Seneca I bumped into my friend who I haven't seen in a while. I was about to be late so I didn't have time for a Stop-&-Chat. Lucky for me he was cool enough to walk in the opposite direction of where he was headed to talk to me until I made it to my building.
Once I got into the building my super espionage skills must have kicked in without my noticing because I lot of people didn't notice me when I was sitting or standing near them.
It wore off when I was walking down the hall and bumped into my friend's Ex's brother. I was able to avoid the Stop-&-Chat once again. Score.
Really, does anyone like a Stop-&-Chat? Clearly I'm speaking of the type with people you don't have on your list of peeps or friendly acquaintances.
The idea of wasting time is freaky to me, time is money, and we all need more money. What could you be doing with your life that you don't have enough money to do? Should that read "don't have enough time to do" yeah, but it's the point I guess. Then again, I'm not sure what the point it. Oh yeah. I don't care for Stop-&-Chats, unless they are with Terri Hatcher circa 1993.
So if you ever bump into me and I have my iPod going, or am walking fast someplace, you know to stop me now if you want to torture me. I guess though, if you're bothering to read this you're someone I would like to talk to. So the joke is on YOU!
Title inspired by this week's song that's keepin' me going:
-Gimme Shelter (The Rolling Stones)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhBpUJcpiCg
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Knocked Over Pylons - The Catalog: track 1
It's time for some oldies (for me) and new stuff (for most of you). Here are the lyrics to a song I wrote for my band, the Knocked Over Pylons a few years ago. Enjoy.
----------------------
Knocked over Pylons
-The Scope
Sometimes I stop to look at myself,
Wonder if I should even bother.
Always I stop to look at someone else,
It's a habit that's a bother.
Customized, photogenic lenses, working on you,
Non-digitized, cinematic view, looking at you.
Every day I pause for a minute,
Think that I shouldn’t ponder.
All the time I think on you,
Should I do this, I wonder?
Thoughts stretch on and on,
The day goes on,
Though it won't stretch longer.
My peepers squint,
and then a blink,
An hour gone in a moment.
Customized, photogenic lenses, working on you,
Non-digitized, cinematic view, looking at you.
Something's changed; you're only you in name,
Ya’ don't even look like you.
Lucky for me I've got a memory,
Guess I'll have to exercise it.
Think I'll have to exercise it.
Close the lens and exercise it.
----------------------
Knocked over Pylons
-The Scope
Sometimes I stop to look at myself,
Wonder if I should even bother.
Always I stop to look at someone else,
It's a habit that's a bother.
Customized, photogenic lenses, working on you,
Non-digitized, cinematic view, looking at you.
Every day I pause for a minute,
Think that I shouldn’t ponder.
All the time I think on you,
Should I do this, I wonder?
Thoughts stretch on and on,
The day goes on,
Though it won't stretch longer.
My peepers squint,
and then a blink,
An hour gone in a moment.
Customized, photogenic lenses, working on you,
Non-digitized, cinematic view, looking at you.
Something's changed; you're only you in name,
Ya’ don't even look like you.
Lucky for me I've got a memory,
Guess I'll have to exercise it.
Think I'll have to exercise it.
Close the lens and exercise it.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
A Complete Nut
As I sat in my office I felt that old restless feeling. My vision blurred, my head swelled and I sighed with an intense longing. What was it this time that caused this stirring in my soul? I ponder and dwell on my current yearning, on just what it was that could cause such a powerful craving within me.
"What do I need?" I thought over and over. I have to find it quickly.
It was at this point that I sprung to my feet from my black, leather chair. I typed "brb" in the message window on the MSN chat I had previously been engaged in instead of working, and left my office. As I made my way to the elevator I bumped into Sally, a fellow coworker. She was a beautiful girl and the object of my affections for the entire six months she had been working in my building. But was she what I desired at the moment? I said "hey there" and smiled at her. Not a big smile, but a lips-closed confident look with a slight nodding of the head. This was how I worked my magic. Her response was not the usual quaint office cheer that she has mastered so well. She seemed genuinely pleased to see me this time as she greeted me with a "hello." We both stepped into the elevator and there was an awkward silence. Then the feeling returned; this unbelievable hunger that reached down into my very core. Was I going mad? Had it finally caught up to me? The all-nighters, the lack of food, a social life, anything but work; had my lifestyle finally come to collect? I snapped out of my mini-panic to hear Sally calling my name.
"Oh, sorry, yes?" I said as smoothly as I could.
"I was wondering what you were up to tonight?" She asked. This puzzled me, why was she suddenly interested? Had I worn her down? I didn’t make sense, but what should I care, I’m finally IN!
"Nothing at the moment, would you like to join me in the nothingness?"
I can’t remember her exact reply, the intense feeling came back and the rest of it was a blur. I exited the elevator and made my way to my car. I had to get home, I needed rest, I needed something! In my condition I doubt driving was the best idea. I swerved my way home only knocking over a few dumpsters and running over a cat or two. Okay, I’m joking. But it wasn’t the smoothest ride home.
After busting through my door I stumbled to my room and tripped over my slippers into bed. Yet, I couldn’t sleep. After all, it was a restless feeling. I rolled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. I should have some coffee if I can’t sleep. I open the cabinet and there it is. Not coffee, but a jar of Kraft Peanut Butter. My eyes were locked on to those fuzzy bears on the packaging. I had been a hunter without a cause and this was the moment that I knew it was bear season. I proceeded to grab the jar and twist the red top off so fast that it flew across the room, spinning like a ninja star. Picking up a spoon I shoved it deep into the jar and pulled up a huge glob of nutty peanut butter. I stuck it in my mouth and bit down, severing the sticky brown, chunky goodness from the spoon and pulled it out of my closed mouth.
What a sensation I felt at the moment. The weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders and I was now floating above it. The taste transcended my wildest dreams and all my previous symptoms had transformed from painful to delightful. I bit down on the peanuts and each crunch sent a shockwave of euphoria through my entire body. I had to sit down.
Spoon in hand, I continued to go for round after round of peanut butter therapy, always remembering to lick the spoon clean after. Then there was a knocking at my door. I didn’t recall inviting anyone over, and did not want to interrupt my new found eureka of peanut butter enchantment.
"Best make this quick", I thought as I opened the door and was shocked to see Sally standing there, but not as shocked as she was to see me. She looked at my face and her eyes flared with confusion and disgust.
"Let’s just pretend I wasn’t here." She said as she stormed off.
I must have invited her over when I was blacking out in the elevator. But if she was into it then, what could have changed? I walked over to a mirror and saw the reason; there was peanut butter all over my face, and in my hand was the half empty jar. I couldn’t even part with it to answer the door. I walked over to my table and sat down in a chair in total defeat. I had done it this time, I really messed up. I’ve let the girl go, and I regret it. Not tomorrow or soon, but today and perhaps for the rest of my life. There was only one thing that was going to make me feel better after this. I held the jar up and in my best boogie impression I said, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
"What do I need?" I thought over and over. I have to find it quickly.
It was at this point that I sprung to my feet from my black, leather chair. I typed "brb" in the message window on the MSN chat I had previously been engaged in instead of working, and left my office. As I made my way to the elevator I bumped into Sally, a fellow coworker. She was a beautiful girl and the object of my affections for the entire six months she had been working in my building. But was she what I desired at the moment? I said "hey there" and smiled at her. Not a big smile, but a lips-closed confident look with a slight nodding of the head. This was how I worked my magic. Her response was not the usual quaint office cheer that she has mastered so well. She seemed genuinely pleased to see me this time as she greeted me with a "hello." We both stepped into the elevator and there was an awkward silence. Then the feeling returned; this unbelievable hunger that reached down into my very core. Was I going mad? Had it finally caught up to me? The all-nighters, the lack of food, a social life, anything but work; had my lifestyle finally come to collect? I snapped out of my mini-panic to hear Sally calling my name.
"Oh, sorry, yes?" I said as smoothly as I could.
"I was wondering what you were up to tonight?" She asked. This puzzled me, why was she suddenly interested? Had I worn her down? I didn’t make sense, but what should I care, I’m finally IN!
"Nothing at the moment, would you like to join me in the nothingness?"
I can’t remember her exact reply, the intense feeling came back and the rest of it was a blur. I exited the elevator and made my way to my car. I had to get home, I needed rest, I needed something! In my condition I doubt driving was the best idea. I swerved my way home only knocking over a few dumpsters and running over a cat or two. Okay, I’m joking. But it wasn’t the smoothest ride home.
After busting through my door I stumbled to my room and tripped over my slippers into bed. Yet, I couldn’t sleep. After all, it was a restless feeling. I rolled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. I should have some coffee if I can’t sleep. I open the cabinet and there it is. Not coffee, but a jar of Kraft Peanut Butter. My eyes were locked on to those fuzzy bears on the packaging. I had been a hunter without a cause and this was the moment that I knew it was bear season. I proceeded to grab the jar and twist the red top off so fast that it flew across the room, spinning like a ninja star. Picking up a spoon I shoved it deep into the jar and pulled up a huge glob of nutty peanut butter. I stuck it in my mouth and bit down, severing the sticky brown, chunky goodness from the spoon and pulled it out of my closed mouth.
What a sensation I felt at the moment. The weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders and I was now floating above it. The taste transcended my wildest dreams and all my previous symptoms had transformed from painful to delightful. I bit down on the peanuts and each crunch sent a shockwave of euphoria through my entire body. I had to sit down.
Spoon in hand, I continued to go for round after round of peanut butter therapy, always remembering to lick the spoon clean after. Then there was a knocking at my door. I didn’t recall inviting anyone over, and did not want to interrupt my new found eureka of peanut butter enchantment.
"Best make this quick", I thought as I opened the door and was shocked to see Sally standing there, but not as shocked as she was to see me. She looked at my face and her eyes flared with confusion and disgust.
"Let’s just pretend I wasn’t here." She said as she stormed off.
I must have invited her over when I was blacking out in the elevator. But if she was into it then, what could have changed? I walked over to a mirror and saw the reason; there was peanut butter all over my face, and in my hand was the half empty jar. I couldn’t even part with it to answer the door. I walked over to my table and sat down in a chair in total defeat. I had done it this time, I really messed up. I’ve let the girl go, and I regret it. Not tomorrow or soon, but today and perhaps for the rest of my life. There was only one thing that was going to make me feel better after this. I held the jar up and in my best boogie impression I said, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The first random.
I wonder at times why I'd want to do this. I'm wondering it right now. This is the point when I warn you that whatever you are about to read will be a waste of your time. I know fully that it's not smart to tell you that if I want to keep you reading (or do I know that telling you that will entice you, who knows what I know), but I feel bad about wasting people's lives; they are just too short.
Wow. How depressing.
Okay, enough of that [ellipsis] let the random begin!
I have a 30GB iPod video that's about 26GB full at the moment. I walk around with this thing in my pocket and am a notorious track skipper. That said if I'm to do this I need my fingers to be in working order and free. Enter winter. It's cold and it's dark and the winds are a'blowin with the snow a'flowin and this manner of typing is a'noyin.
Being cold out, gloves are usually the right way to go, but this has developed into a dilemma.
I can't operate my iPod with my gloves on. They are too big, thick, and there's something about the fabric that doesn't register with the iPod wheel; I can circle my finger all I want and the screen light won't even blink. If I apply more pressure than it will skip in the wrong direction or turn off. For a while I've had to remove my glove and expose my poor hand to the elements in order to adjust the volume. Is there anything more tragic than that?!
I was in a very sorry state. Constant weeping, curled up in a fetal position, drunk, ostracized. A sad, pathetic excuse for a human being. After feeling sorry for myself for a few weeks I decided I'd had enough of it. I'm not going down without a fight. It ain't over 'till it's over!
Enter thinner gloves. These offer little protection from the hash environment but do offer full iPod functionality! So what does one do with this? Gloves that are good but can't operate the iPod and gloves that are bad but do. Why, you combine them of course.
Gloves inside gloves, a wonderfully stupid yet effective solution to an idiosyncratic problem. But it works and I guess that's what gets me through.
This about it. My demographic travel on foot and the bus to school five days a week usually on their own. That's how many combined hours of iPod'ery? Well, in my case it takes about 1.5 hours to get to school & back. So 7.5 hours a week, and that's not counting travel on weekends, to friend's houses, or whatever you need to do. We use our music so often that if you have a small, seemingly insignificant problem like 'not being about to use it with gloves on' than it can really annoy you by week three.
Yet look at me here, attempting to justify writing about this dribble. Hell, look at you, if you're still here reading it. I suppose you've no one to blame but yourselves. Or me, for rambling, ranting and raving on for so long.
That's it for the moment,
-E.
Wow. How depressing.
Okay, enough of that [ellipsis] let the random begin!
I have a 30GB iPod video that's about 26GB full at the moment. I walk around with this thing in my pocket and am a notorious track skipper. That said if I'm to do this I need my fingers to be in working order and free. Enter winter. It's cold and it's dark and the winds are a'blowin with the snow a'flowin and this manner of typing is a'noyin.
Being cold out, gloves are usually the right way to go, but this has developed into a dilemma.
I can't operate my iPod with my gloves on. They are too big, thick, and there's something about the fabric that doesn't register with the iPod wheel; I can circle my finger all I want and the screen light won't even blink. If I apply more pressure than it will skip in the wrong direction or turn off. For a while I've had to remove my glove and expose my poor hand to the elements in order to adjust the volume. Is there anything more tragic than that?!
I was in a very sorry state. Constant weeping, curled up in a fetal position, drunk, ostracized. A sad, pathetic excuse for a human being. After feeling sorry for myself for a few weeks I decided I'd had enough of it. I'm not going down without a fight. It ain't over 'till it's over!
Enter thinner gloves. These offer little protection from the hash environment but do offer full iPod functionality! So what does one do with this? Gloves that are good but can't operate the iPod and gloves that are bad but do. Why, you combine them of course.
Gloves inside gloves, a wonderfully stupid yet effective solution to an idiosyncratic problem. But it works and I guess that's what gets me through.
This about it. My demographic travel on foot and the bus to school five days a week usually on their own. That's how many combined hours of iPod'ery? Well, in my case it takes about 1.5 hours to get to school & back. So 7.5 hours a week, and that's not counting travel on weekends, to friend's houses, or whatever you need to do. We use our music so often that if you have a small, seemingly insignificant problem like 'not being about to use it with gloves on' than it can really annoy you by week three.
Yet look at me here, attempting to justify writing about this dribble. Hell, look at you, if you're still here reading it. I suppose you've no one to blame but yourselves. Or me, for rambling, ranting and raving on for so long.
That's it for the moment,
-E.
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